tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88109952542242641992024-03-07T21:55:07.841-08:00girl loves nobody but....framedherstoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07281281190034207001noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-20633898596713032622010-04-07T21:13:00.000-07:002010-04-07T21:17:07.642-07:00closing curtainto friends i haven't met but actively chatted with, fyi i am closing this blog due to certain reasons.<div><br /></div><div>i cherish all the talks and blahs about what we've been through.<br /><div><br /></div><div>of course, typically me everything sounds complicated when it's about my past.</div><div><br /></div><div>find me at live msn: yoyopippers@live.com.my </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>framedherstoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07281281190034207001noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-23937782506780030262010-04-07T20:36:00.000-07:002010-04-07T20:42:47.205-07:00someday goodbye will be farewell<a href="http://lildisturbed.blogspot.com/">http://lildisturbed.blogspot.com/</a> are you ready? hehe..<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>this blog will not be updated anymore, so feel free to delete the link in your blog or erase from your memory.time to move on.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-20345555179504494292010-03-18T07:03:00.000-07:002010-03-18T07:12:56.385-07:00at the sushi barits time for oyster dip and 4 types of sauce were on the table.<div><br /></div><div>1 of them contain alcohol. </div><div><br /></div><div>we had this buffet dinner in a hotel in KL.</div><div><br /></div><div>a friend of mine said eagerly, "don't take it." , pointing at the sauce.</div><div><br /></div><div>well i know i won't anymore.</div><div><br /></div><div>what was really amazing, she didn't have to go through the hell i did for her to not take it.</div><div><br /></div><div>because it's not about that 0.00005% alcohol. it's about what will happen after that.</div><div><br /></div><div>and i started to think,hell this is one true strong lady.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-88283117539211867002010-02-12T01:40:00.000-08:002010-02-12T01:46:27.516-08:00"Yang hanya merujuk kepada diri sendiri---bersikap riak dan takbur. Di manakah cerita tentang Rasulullah? Di manakah cerita tentang Pencipta walau sedikit pun ruangnya?<br /><br />if you are wondering what im talking about, it is Al-Kulliyah sayings on blogging activity today.<br /><br />ak-ow.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-83642239448837879052010-02-06T08:20:00.000-08:002010-02-06T08:30:15.130-08:00Unregister, Undo,Unsubscribe,,tonight i have finally deleted my purplelab profile.<br /><br />i still have to log in to do that, and saw things that i have seen before.<br /><br />it looks the same. commitment to something that the truth has deeply understood.<br /><br />it's time to let go.<br /><br />maybe next --> facebook.<br /><br />good luck to me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-28500985182234738212010-02-04T06:05:00.000-08:002010-02-04T06:40:24.828-08:00silence26 years of my life has been history that i feel belong to somebody else.<br /><br />im not quite sure whether i know who i am anymore, are we being sent on earth to wonder who we are? is that really important?<br /><br />big B, i thought i knew back then, but i was wrong, and what about now? have i forgotten that learning is a life long process? and have i forgotten the person and the things matter most in life are those you spent your time less with. siting and waiting for you.the ones you have spent most of your time spent the less time when your life almost bid farewell.<br /><br />it's nobody's fault but it's a sign.<br /><br />devil and angel is not out there, it is always here, hanging in your thoughts. they do exist because YOU exist. duality is the world we're living in. of course.<br /><br />right and left.<br />night and day.<br />fast and slow.<br />hot and cold.<br />light and dark.<br /><br />Eker have said it.<br /><br />and we'll walk slowly to the end of the tunnel, with our hands tied to our back...heads down. maybe then we'll know what we should have done. BETTER.<br /><br />the end.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-3168134209052695212009-12-23T06:16:00.000-08:002009-12-23T06:33:12.922-08:00Im proud to say that...when the clock strikes 12 on the 1st of January 2010:<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; font-weight: bold;">I'VE BEEN ABLE TO STAY SINGLE FOR THE WHOLE YEAR OF 2009!!!!!!!!</span></span><br /><br />terms & conditions:<br />1) kiss doesn't count<br />2) less than 2 months relationship doesn't count<br />3) flirting doesn't count<br />4) imagination doesn't count<br />5) loving yourself doesn't count<br />6) owh wtf,anything as long as it doesn't feel like a<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-size:100%;" > <span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">RELATIONSHITEY!</span></span>it doesn't count!!!<br /><br />do i wanna stay on?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-64787048161286728422009-12-07T01:09:00.001-08:002009-12-07T01:09:51.349-08:00It's overbut it's okay.<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-43629749232493474722009-11-26T10:58:00.000-08:002009-11-26T11:05:27.168-08:00save me from 'H'heartache and headache.<br /><br />im ready for so many things,just surrender your<br /><br />E<br />G<br />O<br /><br />babe.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-52768075146325651372009-11-24T06:01:00.000-08:002009-11-24T06:43:32.526-08:00wita is sleeping.have you ever sat in front of your laptop and thought you had done a lot of things when seriously, you have not moved closer to even 6.5metres away from your seat for hours.<br /><br />i don't know bout you but i feel weird.<br /><br />why am i doing this to myself when i can actually start my car and visit old friends, actually attend an event or even sit and sip coffee with my girlfriends that i am already comfortable with, effortlessly.<br /><br />tonight i'm gonna sit here and wait for ferrah perryd to show up. not cool.<br /><br />i wanna watch moulin rouge and cry like somebody just died but i don't wanna show up at work with swollen eyes. in the meantime.i wanna hit somebody so hard, that it hurt and laugh till sore.sad evil and happy at the same time.i tell you human are greedy.damn im a greedy human being.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-884271017818180312009-11-21T01:53:00.000-08:002009-11-21T03:43:50.067-08:00politics in homosexualah.not again.politics.even in our sexual orientation?<br /><br />gtalk-ing to a friend one fine afternoon. i should have worked at that moment but somehow she got my attention (see,that's why!!)<br /><br />this friend T was into this installment/14 days exhibition of lbgtiq thingy and worked with a friend,M. even if T had been in bed with a woman one thing for sure T is not even gay. i don't know whether she would do the right commotion for <strong><em>one.</em></strong>i am really worried,lol.i really do.<br /><br />so she was telling M that one time she did with Y. M started to think something (not quite sure it's good or bad), because Y was at this event and was quite close to M that night. T told Y about this and say no way Y, your politics are so different from M! Y was like wtf??! since when I'm politicking my sexual orientation goodness!!T was telling why not.you have a blog and open about your gayness (well she's not the only one) and M is just different and I think, Y, you won't get along. T told Y that she should broaden her politic definition regards to her blogging activity.<br /><br /><br />owh man this is what happen when an attacker try to be a defender. opponent gets a penalty.<br /><strong><em></em></strong>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-72398738610517027842009-11-06T05:31:00.000-08:002009-11-15T19:04:35.223-08:00bloody jam makes me a cold person!<div>Phone ringing.owh F.</div><div><br /></div><div>F: hiiiii.......do you miss me?</div><div><br /></div><div>(sambil jenguk keta depan nie nak pergi kanan ke tak nak,handphone terkepit kat telinga kanan sebesar baling kat anjing boleh mati,tangan kiri kena tukar gear,bas belah kiri pulak sikit lagi nak langgar.aaaaaaarrggghhh!!!!!!) </div><div><br /></div><div>me: NO I DON'TTTTT!I'll call u back i'm stuck in this bloody trafffiiccc!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>selamba je.tapi itu ikhlas. time2 gitu xsempat nak rindu2 betul tak. nasib baik tiada pergaduhan berikutan kejadian tersebut.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-20982586601335097532009-10-20T11:31:00.000-07:002009-10-20T11:33:08.109-07:00The new box has a name.<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>And her name is Ferrah Perryd.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-11239985846423411972009-10-16T21:41:00.000-07:002009-10-16T21:51:28.237-07:00kiss OFF<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial; font-size: 11px; "><br />I take one one one cause you left me and<br />two two two for my family and<br />3 3 3 for my heartache and<br />4 4 4 for my headaches and<br />5 5 5 for my loneliness and<br />6 6 6 for my sorrow and<br />7 7 for no no no tomorrow and<br />8 8 I forget what 8 was for and<br />9 9 9 for a lost god and<br />10 10 10 10 for everything everything everything everything<br />you can all just kiss off into the air<br /><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-58476470715869194132009-09-20T04:15:00.000-07:002009-09-20T04:36:04.164-07:00the inconvenient truth.Raya is one of the inconvenient events that i can remember.<br /><br />Lame reason, I have to wear baju kurung, and mms. even if i din want to sooner or later i would be asked to switch camera.<br /><br />I would compliment her, out of habbit, she would say the same in return.<br /><br />To kiss the hands that I love and say selamat hari raya,maaf zahir dan batin every single year.<br /><br />I know I won't change that much or nearly nil.<br /><br />Top of all I am still ok with it.<br /><br />Selamat Hari Raya everybody!!!<br /><br />and to those who doesn't celebrate, have a nice holiday!<br /><br />cheers, stay stoned.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-45139665741268666702009-09-09T08:11:00.003-07:002009-09-14T07:19:01.940-07:00girl loves girl.agak susah nak online in public spaces. <div><br /></div><div>besar sangat label nie. tapi tak nak buang.</div><div><br /></div><div>biar ah!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-90306268692583923382009-09-08T01:53:00.000-07:002009-09-14T07:07:21.117-07:00i have to memorize this so i'll know what to say to mother in case she really finds out.ma : Who did this to you??!<br /><br />me : I haven't caught a disease mom, i'm just gay. like i have brown hair.<br /><br />ma : First! you stop coming to mosque. Now you're up to your neck in sin!<br /><br />me : It's not a sin!mom i never killed or stolen? and mom i'm trying not to lie to you!<br /><br />ma : It's a HUGE sin!<br /><br />me : According to who?!<br /><br />ma : According to GOD!!!<br /><br />me : What kind of a God is that?I can't accept it!!<br /><br />ma : Then you will burn.in.hell!<br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>ada berani?hehehe..<br /><br /><br /><br />a scene from <span style="font-style: italic;">i can't think straight</span> (yes that's why it sounds so familiar)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vE1IwA9kPk4&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vE1IwA9kPk4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><blockquote></blockquote><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-64764997017625507352009-09-06T02:05:00.000-07:002009-09-06T03:37:09.780-07:00how i wish there were more ApplesI knew Apple for more than 2 years now. I was called to write in order to remember the old days where I did not have any friends for emotional support and just accept that i am still human and choosing a meal does not influenced by my sexual orientation. <div><br /></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">of course la nobody support, i didn't even tell anybody i had a brutal crush on a girl.lol.</span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">bagus jugak i didn't because at that time we were underage.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">finally when M and I went separate ways, my<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;"> </span></b><a href="http://www.averagecanabiss.blogspot.com/"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;">rock and roll friend</span></b></a> had this idea to work in Langkawi because hating that comfortable environment she's having in KL. i took that opportunity to run away from memory of M. so we packed our bags and went. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">So, in Langkawi I met Apple. It's well known, in lkw most of em are not lkw-ian. most of em are from mainland and...it surprised me to find that most of em were there for almost the same reason as mine (not just <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">the</span><i> </i></b><b><i>one </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">cases plu, it also includes other big 'drama' in the world)</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I got very close to Apple and only few months later she told me why she was there in the first place. it's very bad, i was in disbelief. well of course at that time, she hasn't heard mine but i couldn't lie to her face any longer. it didn't feel right. we even shower together. and so i spilled and we laughed and laughed. OMG are there more of us here?? she didn't freak out, she listened. i think from what she has been through, my case is just another, only different. we sighed at all drops of pins onto us..once in a while she would ask about being <b><i>one</i></b>, some are even funny.i just answered, to me i was glad she asked. we are friends until today, when we're back here in hell, KL.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">so all friends who accept this certain traits are just born with, thanks for being there:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">ek*inibi</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">al*k</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">n*jua</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">k*tik</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">m*i nu*rul h*da</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">mas*o</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">po*dien</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">n*nu</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">han*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">thil*ga</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">fio*a</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">ikh*an</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">sy*k</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">cha*p</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">azr*en</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">no*n</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">a*da</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">su*ia</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">c*a2</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">w*ta</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">za*mel</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">h*da</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">haf*z</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">fa*in</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">tay*i</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">y*en</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">har*y</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">ro*ie</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">c*kam</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">sh*frin</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">di*ana</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">a*ie</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">a*da</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">z*za</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">g*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">ti*a</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">me*na</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">na*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">wa*ren</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">is*ail</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">sy*z</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">sher*l</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">s*ti</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">and the latest n*r.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">nie saja yg bole ingat setakat ini.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">stay stoned!</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-68052935364122684712009-09-03T08:21:00.000-07:002009-09-03T09:10:43.702-07:00why people say i sound and look younger than my real age.poyo nya!hehe.<br /><br />maybe (cis nak jawab jugak.heheee..) because i still wanna live in the past.<br /><br />i could slow my pace and be nearer to the time where what i 'wanted' became 'have and gotten.'<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">bla bla bla...</span><br />i still say your name, i still have that box filled with your letters, the lil notes, the cds, the cards, the toys, that coded letters weren't we just brilliant (in school.long story, avoid from getting caught)<br /><br />some has turned <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);">yellow</span>, but i still keep it.<br /><br />i hope somewhere in your room, be it under your bed in a corner and dusty. you still have my letters, my lil notes with bad handwriting, the cds with the songs to show how i was in love with you but keeping it cool (inside i was dying!), the cards that so expensive i bought from hallmark just because i don't know how to make a pop up card like you do, the soft toys actually i got from winning at funfair during family vacation but you don't mind, that coded letter, and other things <span style="font-size:180%;">bla bla bla...</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">but forgive me sweetheart, deep inside i really need a new box to fill. then i might need your space for that new box because enough is enough of you filling up my spaces. but i still not know how could i clear you from my mind because it's not something i can google to.</span><br /></span><br />so why do i sound and look younger than my age? because<span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" > <span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">i'm still keeping the boxxx!</span></span><br /><br />stay stoned.goooood niiiiiteeeeee!!!!!!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-75992362724411953672009-08-30T11:51:00.000-07:002009-08-30T12:16:15.326-07:00facebook.duh.i have a facebook i do.<br /><br />Ms M just created her profile when she finished study. and i was in her friend list. lucky new and old boyfriend are not.<br /><br />FRIEND list. FRIENDD--uh.<br /><br />i do check her out once in a while. ok wth. i check her out everytime.<br /><br />it's not a sign that i haven't moved on. i have.i really have.<br /><br />i even start thinking of dating, but nothing comes up. not yet.<br /><br />*nervous*Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-54090699627502655292009-08-27T07:29:00.000-07:002009-08-30T01:51:09.055-07:00when mom's in the picturei could sense that mom was worried, when i was with Ms M.<br /><br />not that mom knew, that what made her worried more i thought.<br /><br />mom always said that though she delivered a baby girl, she always felt that she had 3 sons (i have 2 elder brothers). out until 4-6 am in d morning and will not be at home almost every weekend. mama sometimes said, "rupa pun dah lupa". i never talk back but talked about other things instead, she laughed and smiled but when it weekends again she started to worry. im her racun n penawar she said.<br /><br />Ms M and i always had our getaway, since she was still studying and i was just starting up we had our getaway in the country. When i studied in west malaysia, she flew from east so we could spend d weekend 2gether. i would always remember how my heart thump like a factory machine, waiting for her to appear from the gate, with her bags, decent smile and a promise how great the getaway would be. our 'honeymoons' getaway are the best i ever had. the thing i like when we're together even as both were students we never cared who's gonna pay for this meal, how we're gonna divide it and bla3, as long as both contributed by the end of the day both are happy.<br /><br />When Ms M had her practical in Klang i'l b driving back n forth federal highway at 4-5 am in the morning. and it is always worth it just to spent our time together.it was the last time since i willingly do that to anyone else. will it be weird if i want that feeling to come again?<br /><br />So,mom. never asked but she would definitely know by the lil notes i stick on my bedside table. it could never be a note from a guy.the handwriting was too nice and careful. mom once asked a cousin( cousin n i can't be under the same room,merenyam,bising dan buaih) "auntie pun nak cari perempuan la tinggal sekali buat teman,laki-laki sekarang nie menyusahkan, boleh x?" (oops,sorry guys) my cousin called me just after she escaped from the overwhelmed conversation. we both knew she's trying to dig something out. thumbs up,mama:) owh, mom never remarry after ayah passed away 20 yrs ago. in case there's a confusion.<br /><br />2 years when i keep my relationship with MS M as a secret, mama finally asked who i was seeing. i never told her the truth. i guess i din wanna break her heart. im glad i din,i din have to.<br /><br />While Ms M always said that as the only child, the only daughter, it's difficult for her to confront her mom. That's why she's keeping her bf (according to her). i know that along the years she had loved her bf and i came in the picture a little too late. we had arguments about this every now and then because why not breaking up with her bf when 24/7 we're together. she cried, i cried. well of course. i just can't picture her in beautiful pengantin dress and clinging to somebody else's arm. urgh i just hate that! M told her mom indirectly and somehow her mom knows my name. one fine day, wise M scribbled my name on the mirror after hot bath and her mom asked..u love who very much??realizing that it's not Mr Macho's name that she knew off. what i like about M eventhough i came out first before she did, she admitted to her mom. and mom was cool about it and gave her some advice. im pretty sure it's religious contents and i din blame mom. she did wat she had to. <br /><br />whatever it is, i love moms. i wish every mom would have that length of patience and understandings. they din freak out, they knew that somehow along the way, the fragile heart of their daughters might bumped into something different, and scary. but those who doesn't, i guess we can't actually stop them from feeling what they feel. we might have something that we might not like for no reason. and nobody can change that. don't be sad. don't try to kill yourself. you are not alone.<br /><br />that's all. stay stoned.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-25270649557681020822009-08-21T06:48:00.000-07:002009-08-21T08:23:15.879-07:00couldn't help myself.<div>Hey everybody.</div><div><br /></div>I am a demon worshipper for this blog. Thanks to- you know who you are for giving me the direction. hiyay.<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Tahoma, serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre;font-size:12px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre; font-family:Tahoma;font-size:12px;"><a href="http://nagging.wordpress.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993399;">http://nagging.wordpress.com/</span></a></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Tahoma, serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre;font-size:12px;"><br /></span></span><div>Before that, I want to say something. In a tone where people toast for wedding to celebrate the joy of the newlyweds. hiiiiiii....! (ok2 serious now)</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Raising the glass</i> :</div><div>B and G.. don't waste what you think is a waste because it is not. even when deep inside you feel like, it is a waste. A real waste , when you decide to go separate ways and look back on how you have wasted the <i>thing</i> you thought was a waste. at that time, deep inside you will think ..WHAT WAS I THINKING!! you will be telling your friends "yes I am forgetting her day by day...." and you just know that is the most hurtful lie ever told. </div><div><br /></div><div>If the PINK is written by B, i just wanted her to know that she really sounds like somebody i know. well i don't think i need to elaborate. i hope that you hang on for a little while juz for G to pass her 'period'. she loves you very much, she just doesn't know what to do with it and how to say it to you. probably she's the one who got into u at first, i am pretty sure. but please be patient. her emotional is at state which you might not cope. one thing for sure, you're her diamond in the rough. that stoned note #1 was a clear content that she never wanted to lose you, and not really sincere in letting you go. owh trust me (G dun be mad!)</div><div><br /></div><div>and G. i feel you. once in a while we're afraid that our partners get bored. but that is normal doesn't matter if it is a straight relationship or the other. it is a nightmare,awful and all those things. you just need to pass through this. i hope you don't make her go. it will be hard for you. no kidding. whenever you forgot just scroll your blog (nasib baik ada blog!) and read the 1st moment you were with her. that was what you wanted, you don't want it to change. but. act on it.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-80590803929380204312009-08-16T09:19:00.000-07:002009-08-16T09:38:39.096-07:00a night in cyna makes me wonderok, i was at a club.a straight club last night. my ex girlfriend really ruled my life, she destroyed my focus and my laughs. now that she has broken up with her boyfriend (the one while we were together) she is dating someone new, her own medical officer. i was never a yes, always a maybe.i was thinking if loving a girl is so hard, why not be with a man for once. at times i feel i could just throw myself on one, but of course i didn't.<div><br /></div><div>after rounds of booze i finally managed to walk myself to the dance floor with some friends, some i just met. dance and dance. wondering why i could dance by myself with all my might when everybody needs to dance with somebody. i silently glance at a side. a man,foreigner i guess tapping on my shoulder. i just go back to myself dancing without giving any chance of my victory thoughts to lead its way on throwing myself to a man. and so, after hours i decided to just sat at a corner wif dis friend i just met.and looked around..</div><div><br /></div><div>Defeat!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>well my eyes couldn't help staring at her, like a tongue stick on ice (she who danced givingly, zero chance of prison desire) without realizing this new friend might notice. well maybe i'm tired of thinking about what others feel at times. fuck it. i was thinking, how nice...</div><div><br /></div><div>i guess i'm still <b><i>one</i></b>!</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers.stay stoned.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-22350517600832039372009-08-09T02:13:00.000-07:002009-08-09T02:26:50.021-07:00bad habbitmy bad habbit whenever im in a restaurant or cafe, alone or not, if i have a time in between ordering or waiting for foods to be served. my eyes will silently wander around(in an optimal degree) and my gaydar starts to function by itself. i noe. i dun think it's too obvious. like now.im at starbux centre point. well, i think the baristas alone is 1. once, i had 4 couples in a restaurant.how i noticed. an instant smile or positive pausing look.i had a girlfriend holding my arms.so.i can't be wrong rite?lol.<br /><br />but it could be coincidence as well.bad habbit i dun care if you stay or go away.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810995254224264199.post-51156366265216558022009-08-09T01:12:00.000-07:002009-08-09T02:09:10.312-07:00and after thatso another version of facebook purple lab is.meeting new PLU, cikeduting girls/butch (cikedut=check it out). after 2 months religiously using purplelab i do log in everytime im connected,found that it is a very interesting place to meet PLU n talk about how did u become <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">one </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>and<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>aftermath. i met new friends there, endless msging about work, music and so on. there is flirting all around and it's a common thing.<br /><br />but again, when it comes to the root of all, i don't think it will be a big help. unless if you're looking for friends or soulmates. mostly have assured of their identity and okay about it, whether they are out or not. but for those who mysteriously searching for their directions just say it's a dead end.<br /><br />i believe they have number of people but you may find the same name connected on the board. for example,me.lol. if you wish to chill and just to search for another it is a recommended place.<br /><br /><br />cheers.stay stoned.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2